120+ Funny Things to Say on First Date

“First dates can be nerve-wracking, but a touch of humor can lighten the mood and reveal your charm. Explore over 120 funny things to say to keep the conversation lively and enjoyable.”

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but injecting some humor into the conversation can lighten the mood and make both parties feel more at ease. Humor is a great way to break the ice and show your personality. Here are over 120 funny things to say on a first date categorized to help you keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

Funny Things to Say on a First Date

  • “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
  • “I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.”
  • “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
  • “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!”
"If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!"

What are FIsunny Things to Say on a First Date to Men?

  • “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
  • “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te!”
  • “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”
  • “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple!”
  • “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”
  • “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
  • “Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
  • “Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!”
  • “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
  • “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!”
  • “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
  • “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
  • “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te!”
  • “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”
  • “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple!”
  • “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”
  • “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
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i-must-be-a-snowflake-because-ive-fallen-for-you
  • “Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
  • “Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!”
  • “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
  • “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!”
  • “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
  • “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”

First Date One-Liner Jokes

  • “I used to be a personal trainer. Then I lost interest.”
  • “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
  • “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  • “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  • “I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop laughing at me.”
  • “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
  • “I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
  • “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
  • “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
  • “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  • “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  • “I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop laughing at me.”
  • “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
  • “I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
"I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy."
  • “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
  • “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
  • “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  • “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  • “I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop laughing at me.”
  • “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
  • “I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
  • “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
  • “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
  • “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  • “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  • “I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop laughing at me.
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What are Funny Things that Not Say on a First Date?

  • “I still live with my parents, but it’s cool. They’re really chill.”
  • “My ex and I are still good friends. In fact, we just texted each other today.”
  • “I think I left the stove on at home. Oops!”
  • “Do you mind if I take a call? It might be important.”
  • “I’ve been told I have a great collection of toenail clippings.”
  • “I usually don’t date people as attractive as you.”
  • “My therapist says I’m making progress.”
  • “I’ve had three failed marriages, but who’s counting?”
  • “I’m not really looking for anything serious.”
  • “I forgot my wallet. Can you cover this?”
  • “I don’t believe in showering every day. Saves water, you know?”
  • “I’ve been banned from three buffets in the last year.”
  • “I have a strict bedtime of 7 PM.”
"I have a strict bedtime of 7 PM."
  • “My last partner was so clingy, they knew my every move.”
  • “I’m not a dog person. Cats are just so much easier.”
  • “I just got out of prison. But don’t worry, it wasn’t anything serious.”
  • “My mom is really excited to meet you. She’s waiting in the car.”
  • “I think I might be allergic to perfume, but you smell great.”
  • “I’m not good with names. Can I just call you ‘sweetie’?”
  • “I once ate a whole pizza by myself. In one sitting.”
  • “I’m on a strict diet of nachos and ice cream.”
  • “I’m allergic to commitment.”
  • “My friends say I have a ‘unique’ laugh. Want to hear it?”
  • “I have a collection of garden gnomes. They’re like family.”
  • “I don’t usually date people from this planet.”
  • “My horoscope told me to avoid serious conversations today.”

More Funny Things to Say on a First Date

  • “Are you a loan from a bank? Because you have my interest.”
  • “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”
  • “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
  • “Do you believe in fate? Because I think we were meant to meet.”
  • “Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.”
  • “Are you a light bulb? Because you brighten my day.”
  • “If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.”
  • “Do you have a twin? Because you seem one of a kind.”
  • “Are you a volcano? Because I lava you.”
  • “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.”
  • “Are you a cat? Because you’re purrrfect.”
  • “If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.”
  • “Are you a time traveler? Because I can’t imagine my future without you.”
  • “Do you have an eraser? Because I can’t get you out of my mind.”
  • “Is your name Chapstick? Because you’re da balm.”
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"Is your name Chapstick? Because you’re da balm."
  • “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.”
  • “Do you have a compass? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you.”
  • “Do you have a quarter? Because you make perfect cents.”
  • “Are you a gardener? Because I’m digging you.”
  • “Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me.”
  • “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”
  • “Are you a drum? Because you make my heart beat.”
  • “Do you have a pencil? Because you’re drawing me in.”
  • “Are you a cloud? Because you’re lifting me up.”
  • “If you were a song, you’d be the best track on the album.”

Conclusion

Humor is a powerful tool on a first date. It can create a light-hearted atmosphere and make the experience enjoyable. However, it’s essential to be mindful of the type of jokes you use and ensure they’re appropriate for the situation.

Important words must be bolds to emphasize key points in your conversations. With the right balance, you can make your date laugh and leave a lasting positive impression

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